Comments for Music, Demons, and Little Girls at http://www.thecatholicthing.org , comment 1 to 32 out of 20 comments http://www.thecatholicthing.org Tue, 18 Jun 2013 19:59:47 +0100 FeedCreator 1.7.3 http://www.thecatholicthing.org/columns/2013/music-demons-and-little-girls.html#comment-15391 Austin, I sympathize with you and your wife, and I think you're doing a great job. Our girls are 14, 16, and 19. Our older sons are in their twenties. We reasoned that if they had been completely unaware of the pop culture as teens, it would have seemed like enticing forbidden fruit. We chose the same route that you did: we played good quality music in our home, but we allowed pop music as they got older, with some reasonable guidelines. I listen to the lyrics of the songs they like, and we discuss them. They have learned discernment regarding music. In addition, pop culture serves as a bridge to interact with other young people, and they have actually had friends who changed their negative views of the Catholic faith when they saw that our kids were allowed to do "normal" things like listen to popular music. They love the ballet and the classical and baroque performances at the local college. They know the difference between music which has the purpose of delighting because it is beautiful, and music which has the purpose of serving as a shared reference point for young people. We want them to trust our judgment. if we label every single pop song as evil without even listening to it, then they will think our judgment is so extreme that they cannot take it seriously. By allowing that which is not harmful, even if we do not prefer it, we gain credibility with our teenagers and young adults. Your girls might like the band my niece likes, "One Direction". There is another song, "Call Me Maybe", which my daughter plays on her guitar, about a young person who is enchanted by the presence of a member of the opposite sex. Enchantment, not sexuality, is the theme. Our oldest son is a professional musician. His band plays jazz, funk, and even hiphop. I'm not a big fan of hiphop, but they are skilled musicians and they work jazz standards into their music, so young people who have never heard much jazz are becoming familiar with it. They're drawn in by the funk and hip hop, and they learn to appreciate jazz without realizing it. Best wishes as you navigate the culture. I think you are off to a good start. - Good Job, Austin and Mrs. Ruse Tue, 15 Jan 2013 18:49:14 +0100 http://www.thecatholicthing.org/columns/2013/music-demons-and-little-girls.html#comment-15368 Remember the Kidz Bop series? It used to come with kids meals somewhere. Take a listen to those. Listening to children sing some of those songs is ... disturbing. - T.L.M. Mon, 14 Jan 2013 02:58:31 +0100 http://www.thecatholicthing.org/columns/2013/music-demons-and-little-girls.html#comment-15358 Austin, As a father of 7, I share your fears and struggle to walk a balanced line. Having a community, as you mentioned is definitely a key factor. We determined where we would buy our current home based on families we knew in the neighborhood who have similar values to our own. Check out the song "Kings and Queens" by Audio Adrenaline. Both my kids and I love it. Also Toby Mac's "Me Without You." He is a Christian artist but has been on the secular charts this year. Both are very "bouncy" songs. Great Article! - Craig Sun, 13 Jan 2013 11:51:41 +0100 http://www.thecatholicthing.org/columns/2013/music-demons-and-little-girls.html#comment-15357 The waltz was quite scandalous in its day, and 'Baroque' was a snide and derogatory name given by critics of the style...let's beware of idealizing the old, which is the reverse bias of idealizing everything "modern." - enness Sun, 13 Jan 2013 10:33:38 +0100 http://www.thecatholicthing.org/columns/2013/music-demons-and-little-girls.html#comment-15342 Funny thing. I mentioned in my column about the wholesomeness of hte Andy Griffith Show but what we have found is that almost every episode is based on lies someone is telling incluidng Andy, Aunt Bea and Barnie. They routinely tell lies to each ohter...weird..i may write anohter column about how Andy Griffith is a big fat liar! - Austin Ruse Sat, 12 Jan 2013 09:41:49 +0100 http://www.thecatholicthing.org/columns/2013/music-demons-and-little-girls.html#comment-15341 I have two 3 year old and 3 month old daughters and I've gathered some useful information from your article and following comments. I'm still mulling over what I would do when my time comes. Unwholesome music is like junk food, tastes good at first but after a while you just end up fat and unhappy. One of the blessings of today's technology is that we have options like iTunes where you can purchase specific songs from various artists and make kids a playlist. By doing this you can still give your children a taste of pop culture, but on your terms, and you don't have to buy the whole album to do so. Not all songs artist compose are bad theses days. Taylor Swift is a classic example, a few great songs, and then a bunch of break up angst songs that leave everyone low. Another option I know is Veggie Tales has a couple mixes where they take 80s and 70s pop tunes and change the lyrics to be more wholesome, these might be fun for dance times around the house, road trips, or with friends. They can evangelize while having fun. Even I enjoy singing "Walk like an Egyptian" with the gourds.;) Again, I value all the input from veteran parents. A grateful newbie. - Sarah Sat, 12 Jan 2013 08:21:25 +0100 http://www.thecatholicthing.org/columns/2013/music-demons-and-little-girls.html#comment-15340 I have fought this war too. One thing you can do is make your kids attractively eccentric in their music tastes--go retro. Folk music of the 60s. Jazz, or at least some of it, and blues. The songs the great girl groups of the 40s sang. Good tunes, positive music and for the most part, good messages. Even some early rock and roll is great. If they like it and enjoy it they just might be trend-setters--our daughter was. - BHG Sat, 12 Jan 2013 04:48:09 +0100 http://www.thecatholicthing.org/columns/2013/music-demons-and-little-girls.html#comment-15334 Back in the seventies there was a late night sitcom (an offshoot of MARY HARTMAN, MARY HARTMAN) called Fernwood2Night. Martin Mull was the host, Fred Willard his sidekick. On one show they interviewed a middle-aged couple who were trying to have their son deprogrammed (remember that fad?) from a cult. The cult? The Catholic Church. Their son? A priest. That may be where we are now. Seen as strange, exotic, not quite comprehensible. Perhaps, like the Amish, we will end up in a photo shoot for National Geographic. - Graham Combs Fri, 11 Jan 2013 18:10:59 +0100 http://www.thecatholicthing.org/columns/2013/music-demons-and-little-girls.html#comment-15333 If your children want to drink pop do you let them or do you explain to them why it is bad for them. Similarly, if you have identified harmful music it should be relatively simple thing to explain to them why you don't want them to listen to it. - Mark Fri, 11 Jan 2013 18:10:05 +0100 http://www.thecatholicthing.org/columns/2013/music-demons-and-little-girls.html#comment-15332 "Catholic Songs for Children",Pro Multis Media. - Craig Fri, 11 Jan 2013 15:33:59 +0100 http://www.thecatholicthing.org/columns/2013/music-demons-and-little-girls.html#comment-15331 I have found that a school community of devout Catholic families makes all the difference. One word: NAPCIS. - agellius Fri, 11 Jan 2013 12:14:09 +0100 http://www.thecatholicthing.org/columns/2013/music-demons-and-little-girls.html#comment-15329 Don't fool yourself, innocence is a completely countercultural way of life. Turn to the saints, they will lead you. Turn off all things pop culture and do not fool yourself into the prevailing logic of "While I want the demons away, I don’t want my daughters to be saps either, that is, so unsophisticated that they are subjects of mirth and also unable to defend themselves against more worldly girls and boys. " Innocence is a gift to God. Remember we are not solving for this life we are solving for Heaven. Why put your kids through more purgatory and need for purification by fire then is necessary? Read "Story of a Family" and then decide if you can feel comfortable with your decision to deny your conscience which told you The Wanted was not good. God bless, this is the narrow path we are seeking!! - Em Fri, 11 Jan 2013 12:02:57 +0100 http://www.thecatholicthing.org/columns/2013/music-demons-and-little-girls.html#comment-15327 Austin, get a Junior Legion of Mary Praesidium going at that parish if there is not alreay one there. This is a wonderful apostolate for children and keeps them close to Mary. - kristinajohannes Fri, 11 Jan 2013 10:00:20 +0100 http://www.thecatholicthing.org/columns/2013/music-demons-and-little-girls.html#comment-15326 We raised our daughter with the knowledge of all types of music period. But, with the understanding its music its not a way to live or to act. Just as tv watching or playing games. She never acted out things in music, tv or games because we taught her these aren't real. She now listens to every type of music still and is raising her children the same way. I don't believe in blocking things off from children. You need to explain everything to them. Because they are exposed to society on a daily basis. Communicate. - Deb Domke Fri, 11 Jan 2013 09:52:19 +0100 http://www.thecatholicthing.org/columns/2013/music-demons-and-little-girls.html#comment-15325 Hi Austin - Just my 2cents as a parent and someone who loves many different genres of music... I rarely listen to the pop culture much, save for Josh Groban, Mannheim Steamroller type of cds. If you can, Always Preview a CD at Amazon before buying it. AND you can look up lyrics on line before making a purchase as well. I made a similar error many years ago with a Michelle Branch cd purchase because the only song I was familiar with "seemed ok". We are not monks or nuns and we do need to engage in the culture, so I agree with you - we are not called to run away from where we are (usually). Kind of hard for salt to flavor or light to illuminate if not present, or unable to communicate AT ALL with those in the dark... You may recall from prior correspondence, I have 2 daughters who were home-schooled,one through high-school and one through 8th grade, and am currently home schooling my 7th grade son. My children were raised on all of the above, i.e., classics, jazz, Celtic everything, Latin hymns, chants and contemporary Christian music (definitely NOT country, or Rap-which is not even music). There are many, many good cds your girls would enjoy with lyrics that lift the soul as well as spirit. I highly recommend Audrey Assad. You can "preview" listen at amazon. She is a convert, has a beautiful quality in her voice, and a poet's heart. Start with her and see what they think. p.s. I realize many people don't "agree" with alternative Christian music. I really don't care. I'm too old to discuss everything on the planet. Once there was a time when some of the classical composers where "too offensive" and there is always a Puritan in the crowd. As I am sure you know, Issac Watts took a popular beer drinking bar tune and gave us "Joy to the World." I wonder where a Protestant who probably didn't drink got the tune from.... - debby Fri, 11 Jan 2013 09:44:49 +0100 http://www.thecatholicthing.org/columns/2013/music-demons-and-little-girls.html#comment-15323 My little girl goes to public school. We had her in Catholic school a 1.5 ago, but due to learning problems, we had no choice but the local school district here. It isn't bad, but just because she is at the public school does not mean I am letting her listen to junk that corrupts her! She is young and innocent and I only let her watch good films and shows, she listens to only good music, and only goes to nice and innocent events. Plus, just because someone goes to public school does not mean that the parent should not be involved in the child's life and help them along and do the right, moral thing. If the parents don't have values, it doesn't matter what kind of school the children go to. I went to Catholic school from 1st to 8th grade, and you wouldn't believe the things I saw and heard in the upper grades. This was in the late 70s until the early 80s. It was shocking! I loved the schools, the nuns, and the teachers, and even the education. The kids were less than desirable. Some listened to things and read things that I wouldn't at my age now. Some, by now, I am doubtful even adhear to the Catholic faith, if I had to guess. - Debbie Fri, 11 Jan 2013 09:12:24 +0100 http://www.thecatholicthing.org/columns/2013/music-demons-and-little-girls.html#comment-15322 We are not moving into a ghetto. We are moving to a regular and quite secular town and neighborhood. However, we are moving close to a parish and school that is quite solid and has drawn near it other faithful Catholic families. I do not believe in entering a ghetto either. - Austin Ruse Fri, 11 Jan 2013 09:08:20 +0100 http://www.thecatholicthing.org/columns/2013/music-demons-and-little-girls.html#comment-15321 So, Austin, please tell us the name of the Catholic school so that everyone can save themselves from the cultural junk. - John Fri, 11 Jan 2013 09:01:30 +0100 http://www.thecatholicthing.org/columns/2013/music-demons-and-little-girls.html#comment-15320 Mr. Ruse, I'm sorry, but I don't have other books to recommend, and you certainly won't get any help from the culture. I happen to be reading "The Feast of Faith" since I heard an FSSP priest quote from it regarding the value of silence at Mass. God bless our Pope Benedict. There is a quotation, once well known, that says: "Music hath charm to soothe the savage breast." At one time, that was applicable even to popular music. Nowadays, what passes for music contributes to savagery in the breast. I am happy that your daughter is learning to play the piano, and I hope that you strongly encourage (read "insist") that she study classical music at least for the first several years. When she turns 80 (as well as in times of great joy and deep sadness throughout her life), she will be drawn to the piano and the music she will turn to will be classical. (Many years ago, we had a still-born baby boy. When we returned after the service and burial, I sat down at the keyboard and played "To a Wild Rose" by Edward MacDowell over and over again.) In the long run, classical music is the music that satisfies the soul. As Cardinal Ratzinger said in this book, it is the music that grew out of the Church and still carries within it the soul of the Church. For family music and a break from the classics, there are song books published in the late 19th century and early 20th (before TV), and they make for great family sing-a-longs. Every one has great fun when they hear for the first time all the verses of "The Man on the Flying Trapeze." There are great songs from the Civil War, beautiful lullabies and tender love songs from World War I and from the period of the migration of the Irish, that tell of loneliness and longing. Did you know that Stephen Foster was an abolitionist? It shines a new light on his music. Go to flea markets (big ones) and you might find some of this music. And there are ways to engage young girls because their hearts are tender and not yet jaded by the world that we live in. And you can learn a great deal of history, while you're at it. - Maggie-Louise Fri, 11 Jan 2013 08:09:20 +0100 http://www.thecatholicthing.org/columns/2013/music-demons-and-little-girls.html#comment-15319 I recall some comments of Michael Patterson-Smith on dancing in the 18th century and some remarks of St John Vianney, the Curé d’Ars on the subject of dancing: "Ah, you say, you are making more of it than there really is! I say too much about it? Very well, then. Listen. Did the Holy Fathers of the Church say too much about it? St. Ephraim tells us that dancing is the perdition of girls and women, the blinding of men, the grief of angels, and the joy of the devils. Dear God, can anyone really have their eyes bewitched to such an extent that they will still want to believe that there is no harm in it, while all the time it is the rope by which the Devil pulls the most souls into Hell?" And again "The Council of Aix-la-Chapelle forbids dancing, even at weddings. And St. Charles Borromeo, the Archbishop of Milan, says that three years of penance were given to someone who had danced and that if he went back to it, he was threatened with excommunication. If there were no harm in it, then were the Holy Fathers and the Church mistaken?" In I895 an old woman told Mgr. Convert, then parish priest of Ars, that from the age of sixteen to twenty-two she did not make her Easter Communion, because the Saint refused her absolution. The reason was that, once a year, when visiting her relatives in a neighbouring village, on the occasion of the fête of the place, she used to dance for a little while on the village green. The woman added that she went to confession on the eve of all the great feasts but the Saint never absolved her. She only received absolution when, after a resistance of six years, she at last made up her mind to forgo this annual fling. It would be easy to find similar remarks in devotional writers like Benedict Canfield, Pierre de Bérulle, the founder of the French Oratory, Charles de Condren, who spoke of dancing and duelling in the same breath as the ruling vices of the time, Jean-Jacques Olier, the founder of the seminary of Saint-Sulpice and many more. I know of none who commended it." Whenever human beings come together, there you will find the potential for virtue, but the always the actuality of vice. Parents today must be as careful as the parents of those 18th century youth. Sin never sleeps. - Jaki blue Fri, 11 Jan 2013 08:02:17 +0100